Introduction
The human mind is a complex arena
where conscious thoughts and subconscious beliefs constantly interact. This
interplay significantly shapes our perceptions, behaviors, and ultimately, our
reality. Understanding how these two aspects of our mind function together can
provide valuable insights into personal growth, self-confidence, and achieving
one's full potential.
This article explores the dynamic
between the conscious mind, or the "Thinker," and the subconscious
mind, or the "Prover," and provides practical strategies for
harnessing their combined power to cultivate a more positive and empowering
self-image.
The Subconscious: The Prover
Most thoughts arise from the
subconscious, which operates beneath our immediate awareness. While we cannot control the emergence of these
thoughts, we can choose how to respond to them.
Repeated thought patterns or actions become ingrained habits within the
subconscious. Conversely, ignoring
negative thoughts or habits can diminish their influence.
We constantly draw upon our
subconscious for guidance and information, creating a cycle where recurring
thoughts intensify our experiences. If you
believe, "I'm not very clever," your subconscious will seek evidence
to support this belief, causing you to avoid intellectually challenging
situations, thus "proving" your initial thought. However, this can be a self-fulfilling
prophecy, potentially masking your true abilities.
The Power of Positive Reinforcement
Turning your thinking around involves
consciously planting confident thoughts in your mind. By releasing disempowering thoughts and
embracing feelings of strength, capability, likability, and deservingness, you
can reverse the cycle and create a more positive self-perception.
Richard Carlson aptly stated,
"Argue for your limitations, and they’re yours". Reflect on instances where you underestimated
your capabilities, only to later realize you could have succeeded.
Silencing the Inner Critic
Challenge negative self-talk with
encouraging and realistic affirmations.
Transform "I can't" into "I can," or, if that's too
challenging, try:
·
"Perhaps I would find
it difficult at present, but I can learn."
·
"There must be a way.
Let’s look at the alternatives."
·
"Please show me how.
I’m willing to learn."
·
"I can’t (e.g., play
the violin), but only because I’ve never tried. I’m sure I could learn."
This approach provides the
"Prover" with positive material to work with, unlocking new
possibilities.
Learning from Mistakes
When mistakes happen, avoid
self-reproach. Instead, learn from them
and seek better approaches for the future.
Thought Stopping: Changing the Narrative
Pay attention to censorious questions you ask yourself, such as:
·
"What did I do (or
say) that for, idiot?"
·
"What’s the use?"
·
"Why am I so
stupid?"
·
"Why does this always
happen to me?"
·
"Why does everyone
hate me?"
These questions assume you are
inadequate and the Prover will find reasons to support that assumption.
Interrupt this cycle by using Thought
Stopping and replacing negative questions with positive ones, such as:
·
"What can I learn from
this?"
·
"What can I do now to
feel more confident?"
·
"How can I
improve?"
·
"How would a confident
person handle this situation?"
When facing problems, concentrate on finding solutions by asking:
·
"What can I do to
solve this problem?"
·
"How can I turn it to
my advantage?"
·
"What more do I need
to know?"
These questions prompt the Prover to work for you, not against
you.
Confident Language
Eliminate self-deprecating phrases from your vocabulary:
·
Instead of "It’s only
me!" say "It’s me!"
·
Avoid "I’m sorry to
trouble you, but..."
·
Refrain from using phrases
like "I’m afraid..." or "I know it’s not very good, but..."
Do not apologize for your strengths or
diminish your achievements. The Prover may
interpret this as a signal to reduce effort.
Be proud of your accomplishments, and the Prover will assume you want more of
the same.
Rejecting the Victim Mentality
Refuse to see yourself as a victim. Affirm, "I was not brought into the world
to be a victim, and I am not a victim".
Henry Ford noted, "Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t,
you’re quite right".
Confident Self-Talk
Thinking like a confident person leads
to feeling and acting more confidently.
Confident self-talk involves language that promotes positive feelings and
coping abilities. Avoid language that
implies helplessness or exaggerates negativity, as it provides damaging
material to the Prover.
Eliminating "Should" from Your Vocabulary
Be aware of phrases containing
"should," "shouldn’t," "ought," "must,"
"got to," "have to," "mustn’t," and
"supposed to," as these can limit your options and imply external control. Change them to "I want to…," "I
don’t want to…," "I choose/choose not to…," or "I
prefer/prefer not to…"
Identify the rules you live by and ask
yourself, "Why should I?" Rewrite your list using "could"
or "If I really wanted to, I could…""
Recognize that "should" statements about life, others,
and the world can lead to disappointment.
Question the origin and validity of every "should" or
"shouldn’t" thought.
Avoiding Generalizations
Avoid generalizations such as "I
always…," "You always…," "You never…," and "They
never…" Keep things in perspective.
One mistake doesn't define your entire capabilities, and one negative
experience doesn't mean everyone is against you.
Steer Clear of Extremes
Avoid black-and-white thinking. Even if you don't succeed every time, it
doesn't mean you never achieve anything worthwhile. Every experience holds value and offers
learning opportunities.
Reducing Drama
Stop exaggerating and over-dramatizing
situations. Replace phrases like
"It’s awful, terrible, and hopeless" or "It’s a catastrophe,
complete disaster, total fiasco" with gentler, more optimistic language:
·
"It’s a little
unfortunate."
·
"I’m a bit
disappointed."
·
"It’s not what I would
have wanted, but it’s OK."
·
"I’ve had a slight
setback/a few minor problems to overcome."
·
"There must be a way.
What are the alternatives?"
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